Clean Your Ears
by nOnymOus
Summary: Yes Harry, you heard it right, he likes you too. Snarry.


Oh my God! I got part two set up! Okay, I swear, after this, I'll top and try to move on. Have I told you my Snarry dilemma? It's not a dilemma per se, but not being able to read anything else BUT snarry has got to be a problem in its own little way.

Disclaimed, warned, blah.

This makes sense on its own, but you can read Use Your Ears too if you want to :D.

Oh, and I forgot to say this in Use Your Ears, but Snape + oldies music is a small reference to sinick and ac1d6urn's Right Red Handed.

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**Part Two**

"I bumped into Draco Malfoy today. He reminded me that the color scheme of the wedding was red and gold and that being blind was not an excuse for being unfashionable."

"Ah yes, how kind of Mr. Malfoy to remind us of an obviously important detail for an event that will occur in six month's time. Isn't it wonderful to have such considerate people in this ill begotten world?"

"So, why did Malfoy have to tell me that?"

"Haven't you fitted the pieces of the puzzle together, Potter? Merlin, how you managed to pass your N.E.W.T.S after the war surpasses me. Why would Mr. Malfoy offer you such useful advice if he were not organizing an event?"

"You mean, we're invited to his wedding?"

"Does he have anything else in his social calendar?"

"No, but— why would he invite me?"

"Obviously he invited you because of me. He insisted that I take you to the wedding, as my guest, in order to avoid inviting some buggery of an aunt, but I suspect his intentions run deeper than that."

"Intentions? …You mean, he's going to try and sleep with me?"

"Potter! Must I remind you time and time again that not every course of action revolves around you? In case it had fallen on deaf ears, Mr. Malfoy is getting married, to a woman, if I should add. If you look beyond your vanity, you will surely realize that he still harbors the same dislike that you harbor for him, and merely plans to observe this so-called romantic spark between the two of us."

"Jesus, I was joking Severus. What's got your knickers in a twist? Is it time to buy you new under garments?"

"No, if you must remember, I've stopped wearing those since I've set my eyes upon you, hoping that the day will come when you'd just pull down my pants and fuck me."

"Right, how the old and aged have forgotten. Haven't you told Malfoy that there is no romance between us?"

"Potter, since when have you heard of a Malfoy giving up? Even when Lucius was treated like a mere peasant's boy after Voldemort had bailed him out of Azkaban in the second war, he still stripped all of his pride and money just to win back the Dark Lord's affections."

"Then tell him that, and that look where his father ended up in. Right back in Azkaban."

"I would but it's too late. It has become an epidemic, if you haven't noticed. He's not going to be easily dissuaded, just like the Weasley's. Honestly, do we emit an aura that tells the world we shag every night and love it? I don't know what's wrong with these people. Especially Ronald Weasley; he gets this mad gleam in his eye whenever he spots me without you. I feel as though he's condemning me for not being stitched to your hip."

"Er—don't mind Ron. He's just—I just don't think we've managed to convince him as completely as we thought."

"You are a horrible liar. You know what he knows; you just don't wish to share it with me."

"And you're okay with that?"

"Is there any reason why I should doubt your decision?"

"Uhm, no."

"Well then."

"What are we going to do about Malfoy though? Are we going to have to hex him until his converts?"

"Nonsense; that's just a waste of time. I say let's just go to his wedding and let him interpret on his own that we are not together. For once, I'd rather keep quiet and let people think what they want than have my weary tongue repeat that I am not with you."

"Wow. So, so you don't care what people think anymore?"

"No, unless you do; then I'd respect your decision, of course."

"No, I— it doesn't matter to me either. I just thought you wanted people to get their heads straight."

"Potter, people used to believe that I was a sadist, bent to either tag along with Voldemort, or one day take over him and rule the world by myself. You and your stu—ignorant friends used to think I was a giant bat, took baths in a disgusting once a month routine, and had dealings with vampires. Compared to those feebly scathing remarks, I think I can swallow being your pseudo lover. At least less people would want my head impaled on a stick."

"What if we fall into peer pressure and pursue a romantic relationship?"

"I wouldn't mind. I have been harboring vague wet dreams about you during the past months."

"—!"

"Potter, you're starting to use that primitive expression that makes Weasley look like an unhinged door. Close your mouth; do you wish to attract flies? You mean to deny to me that _you_ haven't had those thoughts about me?"

"You—how long have you _known_?"

"I believe that was the time I had to meet with the owner of the record store in the next town. Unfortunately, the sod fell ill, after accidentally eating a couple of Puking Pastils, and I headed home earlier than expected. I caught you in the middle of a wank; you were laying on the kitchen table, naked waist down, speaking in Parseltounge. I left after I heard my name. After that, it was merely a matter of putting one and one together."

"I—shit, that—Really? I was speaking in Parseltounge?"

"Unless you hiss on purpose during masturbation?"

"No, I, uh—If you knew, why didn't you do anything about it?"

"Should I have done anything about it? What about you, Potter? Shouldn't you have done anything about your _feelings_?"

"You could at least call me Harry."

"Ah yes; because it is a testimony of how our relationship has revolved from friend to friends with benefits. Wipe that grin off your face; I say friends for lack of a better word."

"So, so, does this mean we can have a fuck?"

"No. Potter, have you lost your mind? Wait, no, don't answer that; of course you've never had one. Do we have to have this conversation while I'm reading the biography of Iggy Pop?"

"But I like you, you like me—"

"Therefore, people who like each other should have a casual fuck? Think again Mr. Potter. If you really want it, you'll have to work for it."

"We'll fuck eventually?"

"That is entirely up to you and your efforts."

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Okay, I have to say, I'm a bit embarrassed at part two because i didn't think exerted as much effort into this as part one. so, if a part three nver comes, don't be surprised.


End file.
